I’m feeling apprehensive as I type this blog post. Not sure if I can write at length on this subject without being reduced to tears. Oh my heart is aching tonight and I’m deep with emotion. In recent years I have lost so many girls who belonged to my family. I’ve had a difficult life and any news of a girl dying is traumatic for me.
Peaches Geldof died on the 7th day of this month and her sudden death brings to mind other upsetting stories. Okay let’s get to a point of conjecture that I have about Peaches. She was a socialite, a famous person, and the media is having a field day with her story. I don’t wish to get into any gossip or speculation about her passing. I’ve decided instead to focus on the subject of loss. I grieve for the loss of my daughter Nicole and my sisters Julie and Susan. I also grieve for others who have passed that I’ve never met and I don’t even know. These girls have died and left an indelible imprint on my soul and a vacuum in my life.
Du’a Khalil Aswad is another lovely girl who was stoned to death by a mob of vicious men in Northern Iraqi back in 2007. Yes, I also grieve for poor Du’a .. it was an honor killing, she didn’t deserve to die like that. Peaches and Du’a both share a disturbing coincidence, they were born in 1989 and died on the same date 7th of April.
Jill Meagher is another sweet girl who comes to mind because she was brutally killed in my home town. Jill was a 29 year old Irish feme living in Australia who was raped and murdered while walking home from a pub (hotel) in Brunswick, an inner suburb of Melbourne, Victoria in the early hours of 22 September 2012.
I guess I’m feeling the pain of too many tragic deaths. I’ve read that the best way to get rid of painful and negative emotions is to let them go. But learning to let go of the emotions is extremely difficult. I don’t find it easy to let go of sad memories. People have actually died of a thing called Broken Heart Syndrome. So even in reality people die from what appears to be a broken heart. Do I need to give myself permission to let go of the emotional suffering that is associated with negative emotions? Or if my heart has been broken many times does this prove that I have a heart?
I’ve also got to search for the meaning deeper within myself and continue writing about gender equality and liberty.
Beautiful illustration: Leslie Ann O’Dell
In loving memory of:
Peaches Honeyblossom Geldof 1989 – 7 April 2014
Du’a Khalil Aswad 1989 – 7 April 2007
Jill Meagher 1982 – 22 September 2012
My own daughter Nicole. My dear sisters Julie and Susan.